3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
