don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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