his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
