Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
