i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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