I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
smell my finger.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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