I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I need help removing her.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
