Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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