just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
