i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
