tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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