It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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