No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
