your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
