You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
