Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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