I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
