His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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