she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
