Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
