the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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