never play flip cup with pint glasses
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize