Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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