I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
