Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
