Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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