I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
