I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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