The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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