my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
