If that was your dad, he is hot
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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