Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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