there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
