Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize