i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I yelled at your uterus for you.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
