wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Randomize
