Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize