So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
