did you get engaged???
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
