there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
