O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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