You're so nebulous sometimes
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
