Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
