Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
