Midget sex pt 2 tonight
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
