What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
