Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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