my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
In America we eat man semen.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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