First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
