OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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