Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
