...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
as a side note pls kill me
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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