I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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