Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
