dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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