Where is the hickey?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
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