I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Are we still banned from the library?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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