Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
