Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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