A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
