my sisters under your porch take her home
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
