remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
