it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize