Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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