Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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