I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
