my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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