So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
